Simone a relative that died.
This is her after my grandmother's funeral in '03
It has been twelve days and I can say with confidence that the people on the island of Ayiti were not the only ones shaken by this earthquake. Ayisyen living in the diaspora and people all over the world have been taken by the disaster in Ayiti. These past two weeks have been the longest and shortest days of my life. I've hurt a hurt that I never known; my heart broken by all of this. It is so hard to answer the question, "How are you?" There are so many words to describe how I feel-sad, angry, powerless, helpless, fearful, scared, hopeful, happy, worried, tired, exhausted, overwhelmed. The list endless and because I am feeling so many things at one time the word that sums it all up is NUMB.
On the 12th I get a call from a close friend telling me there was an earthquake in Ayiti. The call drops and I see had two text restating the same fact but it includes the value on the rector scale....7.3. I immediately called my family: "Did you hear?" "Have you been able to speak to anyone back home?" "Is Aunt Lydia and Gran Papa still in Haiti?" "What...they were suppose to come back today?" Worry began to settle in with the uncertainty of how bad this thing really was. I try to take the advice that I should not worry until there is something to worry about, but the reality is the situation has already infected my spirit. What's worse we can not get a single call back in back to our family. I am relieved when my cousin confirms that my aunt and grandfather made it in earlier in the afternoon from Ayiti. However, its short lived when I think about how many relatives I have that are actually there and to hear my grandfather has had a stroke because of the stress of it the next day. To say my family is big is an understatement between my mother and father I have 25 aunts & uncles, about 80 great aunts and uncles which leads to an unmentionable number of cousins most of which are still living there. Not to mention, I have a stepmother and three younger siblings (2 brothers and a sister) in Ayiti.
I don't know even know what was worse the waiting or finally making contact. Although you hear a voice which brings you comfort, you slowly realize that goods news has a Siamese sister...bad news. On the other line you hear, "Wi, mwen la, " yes I'm here but it is followed with the grim reality post earthquake. I am homeless...I am hurt...I have not found her/him yet...She/he is died...WE NEED HELP. Three days had passed before we had a third party find my stepmother and younger siblings; confirmation given that evening by my stepmother personally. I hear they are alive and breathe a sigh of relief, only to have my breath taken away with your brothers are hurt badly. A wall collapsed on Gabriel and Loic was hurt trying to help. Tainted from CNN broadcasting the news of my brothers' injuries totally rips me apart. I am hearing head cracked, leg broken, need for amputation...programed at this point by Anderson and Gupta that these types of injuries are life threatening due to high rate of infection. My brothers finally received medical attention on Monday and are being treated.
These past two weeks can be summed up to this: I don't eat...I snack. I don't sleep...I nap. I have cried more tears in one week then the sum total of my life.I am hoping this a just one big nightmare and I'm going to wake up...but the truth is this REAL and hard one to carry. I have channeled my feelings by collaborating with people and organizations nationally and internationally so that we can tangibly help the people of Ayiti. Our progress and potential have brought joy to these dark days and rejuvenates my spirit. I only wish this new found unity could have come out of light and not darkness. What I do know is this is bigger than my personal experience. This is bigger than my family. This is about the people of Ayiti and Ayiti herself. More importantly the conditions of Africa and the African diaspora itself. There is much work to be done.
When this story fades from the headlines please don't forget.
I leave you with two proverbs from Ayiti:
"Sonje lapli ki leve mayi ou."
Remember the rain that made your corn grow.
"Anpil men chai pa lou"
With many hands the load is not heavy.
Suggested Reading
Nzingah Oniwosan
2010
